World-wind, Whirlwind, Windy City Weekend
An open letter to my mother, aunt, and sister:
What is an open letter? What does that expression mean? One of the many pseudo-rhetorical questions that was posed on this seven day adventure that lasted four days. So, I googled it. It means that it a a letter directed at one or more specific individuals or group, but is ACTUALLY intended for the public. Therefore, I am in luck because this is in fact an open letter to those aforementioned, but if you want to read it too, that is fine.
This year has been a weird one for me. For the first time ever, I made a realistic resolution at the beginning of the year. My resolution was to take better care of myself. Not in the sense of losing weight or working out more, although those things are in the works, but more like the episode of Seinfeld where George proclaims his unemployed summer as the "Summer of George" in which he does whatever he wants, including eating inordinate amounts of cheese off the wheel. Since I am already a pro at scarfing my weight in cheese foods, I began what has now been an eight month journey of cheezily (pun intended) living my best life.
So I kicked off 2018 with a haircut. I know what you are thinking...WOW a haircut, that truly IS living your best life, but if you know me at all, I rarely brush my hair, let alone pay someone to do any sort of maintenance on it. Seriously, if my hair were a yard in Arizona, it would be solid rocks and cactus. I am a low maintenance hair kinda girl. Well, I was so fired up after the haircut that I joined the movie club at Cinemark to force Steve and I to go on more dates. Who would have thought that a haircut and a few movie dates could cause a person to domino out of control?
I need to back up a minute and also mention, that this year Steve and I will celebrate our 20th wedding anniversary. September is still a month away, but I think that this may have something to do with the amount of feels I have been in this year. Who really knows for sure.
OK, as I was saying, I got a haircut and then: Houston, New Braunfels, Shreveport, Joe Rogan, Pink, banquets, and brunches. (not to mention remodeling our kitchen, throwing a huge July 4th party, teaching summer school, and working on my masters degree). I began filling my life with things that I wanted to experience with people that I wanted to spend time with and so far, this year has been wonderful. BUT, while magical things were happening for me, I saw the stress and unhappiness that I once held on to building in the lives of my sister and mother. An overwhelming family life (working mom, 3 kids, unemployed hubby) was getting the best of my sister and let's just say "politics" was causing my mother to physically LOSE HER HAIR! So, at some point, I suggested...as I often do because I am annoying and like to dream big at the expense of others having to hear my voice...that we should have a girls trip. (keep in mind that my mind set is WOO HOO so they probably wanted to punch me in the face). We discussed possibilities, as we often do, then poo pooed them all on account of impracticality...as we often do.
Please do not think that I am in any way taking credit for our recent trip to Chicago. In mid-July I got a text from my mom asking if I was free the first weekend in August. I told her that I was free and she almost immediately texted me back that we were going to Chicago (random) to see the musical, Hamilton (making Chicago less random). Plus it was my sister's birthday! Holy Cow! My mom, sister, aunt, and I would be leaving on a Thursday, spend Friday in the city, see the show on Saturday, and then fly home Sunday. My mom and I plotted and planned out an entire itinerary, from what trains we needed to take to how much time we had to "mill about". Then Thursday came...
If you do not follow me on social media, here is the short of what happened: We arrived at the gate 3 hours early only to learn that our flight was cancelled. Spirit Airlines (boooo) was only willing to refund our money or offer us a flight out on Saturday which would not work so we kept our return flight for Sunday and took the refund for the flight TO Chicago. This left us with no way to actually get to Chicago. Then I, in all of my obnoxious glory, blurted loudly (so that everyone in the long angry line at the airport could hear and get a good laugh) that we should just rent a car and DRIVE to Chicago, which is what we ultimately did. But that is not what this letter is about.
Since our ultimate goal was to get to Hamilton on Saturday, I will try and express myself in connection to the musical...because it fits. We went on this trip, as 4 women/2 sets of sisters/moms, but what we gained on this trip is so much more than that.
1. "There's a million things I haven't done, but just you wait."
I think a lot of people give up on their dreams if they have not been realized by a certain age. I think that age is somewhere around 30. If you have not conquered the world by 30, do you give up? Do you settle for the life you are living? Do you accept this reality as concrete, set in stone, unchangeable? Is it really "never too late?" I hope not. This idea resonates with the year I am having. 14 hours in a car and 2 days full of feels, tears, and laughter and I know that I am not alone. I don't know the right word, maybe there isn't one, but being with these 3 ladies, I realized how much we all admire one another for the things we have accomplished and the people we have become. I look at my mom, and my sister and my aunt and there are so many things about them that I envy and aspire to be more like. The more I thought about it, the more I realized that I do not need to be jealous of these things because I already share so much of their awesomeness, "it should be enough." I love that at 37, 45, 65, and 72 we are all still fighting to be the best we can. We frustrate each other, annoy each other, laugh at each other, but here I am two days after the trip still beaming from the laughter and grateful for the time. I am excited for what the future holds because these women have given me the foundation I need to know that I will not fail.
2. "And when I meet Thomas Jefferson, I'ma compel him to include women in the sequel, work!"
Duh. My sister and I have always been empowered by our womanhood (feel free to giggle). Ironically, we get this from our mom. Our mom who has often looked down at herself for her lack of education and/or stay at home mom-edness, but that lady is turbulent force of nature. She is a Hamilton to the core. Never afraid to speak her mind. And my aunt..."talk less, smile more". This lady has held it together through some insane hurricanes. It is no wonder that my sister and I do not feel stifled by our gender. If we grow old enough to have half of the strength that they possess, watch out.
3. "I am the one thing in life I can control."
This message was all but physically written on every day of our trip. I have probably upset, offended, confused, or hurt some feeling this year and probably the last 44 too. But I am done apologizing for doing what I know is right for me. There is so much drama in the world today, that it is easy to get wrapped up in all that is wrong and in doing so, we lose sight of what is right. We also lose sight of what we have control over. One thing I have learned this year, is that as much as I hate people...I also love people. I love talking to people who are willing to talk. Seriously, I will attempt a conversation with a 4 year old at the gas station. If you are sitting by me on a train, sorry for your bad luck... I will most likely try and talk to you. I have decided that I don't actually hate people; I hate how impersonal we have become as a society. I can't control the ones who are annoyed by me, or disagree with me, but I can spend time with my husband and kids and others who enjoy what I have to offer. I can go to work every day and take the time to build relationships with my students. I can take pride in the hard work that I put into my job to make sure that my kiddos get the most out of it. I can smile every day because I know that most of the people I surround myself with are genuinely happy to see me. So I plan to do more of that.
4. "Who lives, who dies, who tells your story"
This is the one I have been most excited to write about. Today, Faryn (my 14 year old) and I were in the car listening to this song. She was familiar with the actual history part and some of the music, but hadn't listened to the whole thing. Through the course of our errands today, we listened to the entire second act. When this song ended (and it is the last song of the musical) she looked at me and said, "Why did this song make me cry? I hate you so much mom for making me listen to this. I am going to have to go in to Target looking like I have been crying!" My response to her was this...this is why this musical is brilliant, because in the last song all of a sudden it gets personal. You feel empathy and place yourself in the narrative as Eliza says. So, how does this relate to my trip...because my mom and my aunt and my sister all think they live dull and boring lives, but they all have awesome unique stories and in spending TIME with one another, we get to learn more of each other's stories and in turn have more stories of our own to tell. When it comes down to it, this is what life is all about. It was even pointed out that one day, my mom and aunt will no longer be here and it will be me and my sister and our daughters taking trips and sharing stories with them. This hit me hard. Choked me up. In public. I wanted to hit pause on that moment, but at the same time I wanted to fast forward to the future with my own girls. It made me relish the moment and long for more of those moments with literally everyone that I care about. This is what this year is about for me.
5. "Best of wives and best of women"
I pretty much covered this one with everything I have already said about the 4 kick ass women that spent a weekend in Chicago, but I want to add this: When we got home, my brother said that when he and my dad got the text that we would be driving to Chicago, my dad said..."Those four, in a car together for 14 hours... they are all terrible travelers. I would hate to be on that trip." Most of the time, he would have been accurate in this assumption, but the stars must have been aligned or something because the actual travelling part was fine. And we somehow managed to fit in almost every tourist thing to do in Chicago in the day and a half we actually had to spend in the city. We were exhausted. But if you asked me what my favorite part of this trip was, I would say with 100% honesty and without hesitation that we could have gone anywhere and done anything. It was the being together that was greatness. It was the TIME we had together. I would not have changed a thing about this trip. (except maybe the stomach issues one of us had during the car ride and I would have liked to have stopped in Uranus to explore the fudge factory.)
By the time we boarded our plane on Sunday night, we were all ready to be home. I was excited to see Steve and Faryn and Rain. This trip, at least for me, was a reinforcement of where I am right now. I am looking forward to this school year, working on my masters, and of course I am Disneyland excited about my 20th anniversary in September.
Peace and Love.
What is an open letter? What does that expression mean? One of the many pseudo-rhetorical questions that was posed on this seven day adventure that lasted four days. So, I googled it. It means that it a a letter directed at one or more specific individuals or group, but is ACTUALLY intended for the public. Therefore, I am in luck because this is in fact an open letter to those aforementioned, but if you want to read it too, that is fine.
This year has been a weird one for me. For the first time ever, I made a realistic resolution at the beginning of the year. My resolution was to take better care of myself. Not in the sense of losing weight or working out more, although those things are in the works, but more like the episode of Seinfeld where George proclaims his unemployed summer as the "Summer of George" in which he does whatever he wants, including eating inordinate amounts of cheese off the wheel. Since I am already a pro at scarfing my weight in cheese foods, I began what has now been an eight month journey of cheezily (pun intended) living my best life.
So I kicked off 2018 with a haircut. I know what you are thinking...WOW a haircut, that truly IS living your best life, but if you know me at all, I rarely brush my hair, let alone pay someone to do any sort of maintenance on it. Seriously, if my hair were a yard in Arizona, it would be solid rocks and cactus. I am a low maintenance hair kinda girl. Well, I was so fired up after the haircut that I joined the movie club at Cinemark to force Steve and I to go on more dates. Who would have thought that a haircut and a few movie dates could cause a person to domino out of control?
I need to back up a minute and also mention, that this year Steve and I will celebrate our 20th wedding anniversary. September is still a month away, but I think that this may have something to do with the amount of feels I have been in this year. Who really knows for sure.
OK, as I was saying, I got a haircut and then: Houston, New Braunfels, Shreveport, Joe Rogan, Pink, banquets, and brunches. (not to mention remodeling our kitchen, throwing a huge July 4th party, teaching summer school, and working on my masters degree). I began filling my life with things that I wanted to experience with people that I wanted to spend time with and so far, this year has been wonderful. BUT, while magical things were happening for me, I saw the stress and unhappiness that I once held on to building in the lives of my sister and mother. An overwhelming family life (working mom, 3 kids, unemployed hubby) was getting the best of my sister and let's just say "politics" was causing my mother to physically LOSE HER HAIR! So, at some point, I suggested...as I often do because I am annoying and like to dream big at the expense of others having to hear my voice...that we should have a girls trip. (keep in mind that my mind set is WOO HOO so they probably wanted to punch me in the face). We discussed possibilities, as we often do, then poo pooed them all on account of impracticality...as we often do.
Please do not think that I am in any way taking credit for our recent trip to Chicago. In mid-July I got a text from my mom asking if I was free the first weekend in August. I told her that I was free and she almost immediately texted me back that we were going to Chicago (random) to see the musical, Hamilton (making Chicago less random). Plus it was my sister's birthday! Holy Cow! My mom, sister, aunt, and I would be leaving on a Thursday, spend Friday in the city, see the show on Saturday, and then fly home Sunday. My mom and I plotted and planned out an entire itinerary, from what trains we needed to take to how much time we had to "mill about". Then Thursday came...
If you do not follow me on social media, here is the short of what happened: We arrived at the gate 3 hours early only to learn that our flight was cancelled. Spirit Airlines (boooo) was only willing to refund our money or offer us a flight out on Saturday which would not work so we kept our return flight for Sunday and took the refund for the flight TO Chicago. This left us with no way to actually get to Chicago. Then I, in all of my obnoxious glory, blurted loudly (so that everyone in the long angry line at the airport could hear and get a good laugh) that we should just rent a car and DRIVE to Chicago, which is what we ultimately did. But that is not what this letter is about.
Since our ultimate goal was to get to Hamilton on Saturday, I will try and express myself in connection to the musical...because it fits. We went on this trip, as 4 women/2 sets of sisters/moms, but what we gained on this trip is so much more than that.
1. "There's a million things I haven't done, but just you wait."
I think a lot of people give up on their dreams if they have not been realized by a certain age. I think that age is somewhere around 30. If you have not conquered the world by 30, do you give up? Do you settle for the life you are living? Do you accept this reality as concrete, set in stone, unchangeable? Is it really "never too late?" I hope not. This idea resonates with the year I am having. 14 hours in a car and 2 days full of feels, tears, and laughter and I know that I am not alone. I don't know the right word, maybe there isn't one, but being with these 3 ladies, I realized how much we all admire one another for the things we have accomplished and the people we have become. I look at my mom, and my sister and my aunt and there are so many things about them that I envy and aspire to be more like. The more I thought about it, the more I realized that I do not need to be jealous of these things because I already share so much of their awesomeness, "it should be enough." I love that at 37, 45, 65, and 72 we are all still fighting to be the best we can. We frustrate each other, annoy each other, laugh at each other, but here I am two days after the trip still beaming from the laughter and grateful for the time. I am excited for what the future holds because these women have given me the foundation I need to know that I will not fail.
2. "And when I meet Thomas Jefferson, I'ma compel him to include women in the sequel, work!"
Duh. My sister and I have always been empowered by our womanhood (feel free to giggle). Ironically, we get this from our mom. Our mom who has often looked down at herself for her lack of education and/or stay at home mom-edness, but that lady is turbulent force of nature. She is a Hamilton to the core. Never afraid to speak her mind. And my aunt..."talk less, smile more". This lady has held it together through some insane hurricanes. It is no wonder that my sister and I do not feel stifled by our gender. If we grow old enough to have half of the strength that they possess, watch out.
3. "I am the one thing in life I can control."
This message was all but physically written on every day of our trip. I have probably upset, offended, confused, or hurt some feeling this year and probably the last 44 too. But I am done apologizing for doing what I know is right for me. There is so much drama in the world today, that it is easy to get wrapped up in all that is wrong and in doing so, we lose sight of what is right. We also lose sight of what we have control over. One thing I have learned this year, is that as much as I hate people...I also love people. I love talking to people who are willing to talk. Seriously, I will attempt a conversation with a 4 year old at the gas station. If you are sitting by me on a train, sorry for your bad luck... I will most likely try and talk to you. I have decided that I don't actually hate people; I hate how impersonal we have become as a society. I can't control the ones who are annoyed by me, or disagree with me, but I can spend time with my husband and kids and others who enjoy what I have to offer. I can go to work every day and take the time to build relationships with my students. I can take pride in the hard work that I put into my job to make sure that my kiddos get the most out of it. I can smile every day because I know that most of the people I surround myself with are genuinely happy to see me. So I plan to do more of that.
4. "Who lives, who dies, who tells your story"
This is the one I have been most excited to write about. Today, Faryn (my 14 year old) and I were in the car listening to this song. She was familiar with the actual history part and some of the music, but hadn't listened to the whole thing. Through the course of our errands today, we listened to the entire second act. When this song ended (and it is the last song of the musical) she looked at me and said, "Why did this song make me cry? I hate you so much mom for making me listen to this. I am going to have to go in to Target looking like I have been crying!" My response to her was this...this is why this musical is brilliant, because in the last song all of a sudden it gets personal. You feel empathy and place yourself in the narrative as Eliza says. So, how does this relate to my trip...because my mom and my aunt and my sister all think they live dull and boring lives, but they all have awesome unique stories and in spending TIME with one another, we get to learn more of each other's stories and in turn have more stories of our own to tell. When it comes down to it, this is what life is all about. It was even pointed out that one day, my mom and aunt will no longer be here and it will be me and my sister and our daughters taking trips and sharing stories with them. This hit me hard. Choked me up. In public. I wanted to hit pause on that moment, but at the same time I wanted to fast forward to the future with my own girls. It made me relish the moment and long for more of those moments with literally everyone that I care about. This is what this year is about for me.
5. "Best of wives and best of women"
I pretty much covered this one with everything I have already said about the 4 kick ass women that spent a weekend in Chicago, but I want to add this: When we got home, my brother said that when he and my dad got the text that we would be driving to Chicago, my dad said..."Those four, in a car together for 14 hours... they are all terrible travelers. I would hate to be on that trip." Most of the time, he would have been accurate in this assumption, but the stars must have been aligned or something because the actual travelling part was fine. And we somehow managed to fit in almost every tourist thing to do in Chicago in the day and a half we actually had to spend in the city. We were exhausted. But if you asked me what my favorite part of this trip was, I would say with 100% honesty and without hesitation that we could have gone anywhere and done anything. It was the being together that was greatness. It was the TIME we had together. I would not have changed a thing about this trip. (except maybe the stomach issues one of us had during the car ride and I would have liked to have stopped in Uranus to explore the fudge factory.)
By the time we boarded our plane on Sunday night, we were all ready to be home. I was excited to see Steve and Faryn and Rain. This trip, at least for me, was a reinforcement of where I am right now. I am looking forward to this school year, working on my masters, and of course I am Disneyland excited about my 20th anniversary in September.
Peace and Love.
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